Gustav Berg has been the lead guitarist of the great Swedish rock band,
Paulman Berg, for the past number of years. However, Paulman Berg has not always
been Berg's main priority. He was in fact, alive before he created the band
Gustav Berg's life began in the swampy underbelly of Helsingborg, Sweden. His
father was mayor of Helsingborg, and was killed by the great lumberjack,
Paulman Berg, thus getting Gustav interested in this great lumbering figure.
He attended the Swedish School of Steam, in his early efforts to both steam
fish, and build steam rooms. However, his interests were quickly deterred
upon a peculiar incident one summer's morn. When Gustav woke on a July morning,
he discovered that his whole house was really a full scale replica of Optimus
Prime, and thus could not be a place of living. He moved out of Optimus and
into Pessimus, where he quickly grew to dislike his surroundings. He began
practicing the guitar with his cool dad, before his dad was brutally murdered
by Paulman Berg. He began to tour local clubs, but found out after a few years
that he wasn't really playing guitar as much as he was playing in tar,
explaining his constant state of messiness.
One dreary day, Gustav was leaving his "Learn to speak English with a British
accent" class, he tripped over an axe shaped item sticking from the ground.
He found out that it was indeed an axe, and that his foot had been sliced open,
and had to be rushed to the hospital. The next day however, he tripped over
another axe shaped item, turning out to be the Guitar of the Gods. He removed
it from the ground, and began to play like a god. He immediately began to receive
change while playing on the streets. He was voted in the top 20 of Sweden's
street players in 1997. Quite the accomplishment, only accomplished by 19 other
men in history.
Gustav rapidly grew into a great guitar player, eventually meeting up with Yannis
Paulman to form the great band Paulman Berg. Gustav has also played for Donovan
and ELO, and played Gustav Berg in the movie Chile Con Carnage. He is currently
writing a jazz opera entitled "The Wonderful Miseries of Dennis Cook, and Other
Failings." In summary, Gustav would like to thank his sister Jess for always
being there, and his mom and dad for being totally cool, but half dead. Not to
mention Captain Dog, never will I forget your latherings.