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Yannis Paulman

Yannis Paulman was born to Regina and Thomas Tinderwell on the sunniest morning of the 20th century. When the Tinderwells realized they had not given birth to their son, but, in fact, to the son of their neighbors, the Paulmans, who lived down the street, they returned young Yannis to his parents, Yannis and Yannis Paulman. The Paulmans were loving parents, but they did not have very long attention spans. They grew tired of young Yannis at around the time of his 9th birthday at sent him to live in Dampman’s Crater, the most prestigious hole in the ground in Sweden.

During his time in Dampman’s Crater Yannis learned to imitate the mating call of the elusive Chubby Owl, the most delicious bird in the world, and lure them to his hole and eat them. It was through training himself to squawk like a Chubby Owl that Paulman developed the lung power and vocal conditioning necessary to sing like a nightingale. Soon, local musical acts were taking notice of the “Filthy, Squawky Hole Boy” (as he was known to the townsfolk) and his impressive vocal capabilities. He became the lead singer of the band River City Rundown.

With RCR (which stands for River City Rundown), Yannis achieved moderate success. Although the band was never famous outside of Europe, their songs “Cudchewer, Te Amo” and “Forgetful Salesman (Of Love)” were top thirty hits in Sweden, and top forty hits in France and Belgium. Despite this success, however, Yannis’ first love was law and he left RCR (which stands for River City Rundown) to go to law school, where he knew, just knew deep down in his soul, that he would become one of the world’s great lawyers.

After failing the bar exam, the distraught Yannis Paulman met Gustav Berg, a young Meat Dog salesman on the streets of Sweden. The two soon learned that they shared a passion for rockin’ it and began to discuss starting a band…